Quotes by Tina
I honestly think I'm not working any harder than any working mom anywhere else, I'm at least getting to work on things that are exciting and fun.
I had to get back to work, NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement."
It's just so gratifying to see her poop! You never thought your whole day would be hinged on someone else pooping. The other day I got a booger out of her nose with a Q-tip, and it was so satisfying. It was the best thing I had done all day!
Never punch a girl in the boob, or she will kick you in the nards.
It's an honor to be anywhere, actually, and a deep, deep privilege to be wearing a bra and shoes.
We're out of cereal? What are we going to do? Do you think there's some kind of cereal fairy who we can pay $1,500 a week to buy us more cereal?
I've built a man's life for myself.
I wanted to stop doing 'Saturday Night Live' so I could spend more time with Star Jones.
I became immersed in the cult of improvisation. I was like one of those athletes trying to get into the Olympics. It was all about blind focus. I was so sure that I was doing exactly what I'd been put on this earth to do, and I would have done anything to make it onto that stage.
I think if you ask any of us here, we all dreamed of ending up on Saturday Night Live. I remember thinking, 'I'll just keep doing this as long as I can get away with it.'
I was a mostly happy child, though I had a pretty rough puberty. Growing up as a girl is always traumatizing, especially when you have the deadly combination of greasy skin and getting your boobs at ten. But I think it's good to grow up that way. It builds character.
If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.
Yeah, it's tough being smart and sexy, too. I have to say, I'm really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date. I promise you it's true. My husband saw a diamond in the rough and took me in.
I have a very high standard that I place on myself. Nobody's going to be harder on me than I am.
I'm a registered Independent and my dad is a Republican. Whenever we argue about politics I always lose because he's just more informed.
If it turns out I'm the worst [actor] ever, then I'll have that distinction of being the worst actor ever. I don't think Jerry Seinfeld and Paul Reiser and Ray Romano worried about it, so I'm gonna choose not to worry about it either.
Some actors are brilliant when they are deep in character. I am never brilliant, and that makes it easy for me.
Sweaty is one of my favorite terms when a joke is not built quite right. I was going to call my production company "Sweaty And Familiar".
I'm always surprised when I hear someone is scared of me. But I would prefer for them to be falsely intimidated than to actually have conflict.
Yeah, I'm eating cream cheese out of a bowl - because I ran out of pretzels. You won't see that on the set of Desperate Housewifes.
Food. My only vice. Oh, also I steal.